The Concerns Of Mindy Kaling

Things I Bought That I Love: Minted Stationery

In terms of time wasters during the day, I almost never turn to Youtube. I will on rare occasion enjoy clicking on a Youtube video link if a trusted source has sent it to me, but even then I’m wary. What I find cute and entertaining in a Youtube video is very specific, and if it’s even slightly not right, I am totally turned off of Youtube forever. For instance, I love interspecies friendships. Turtles that are friends with cats, elephants that befriend small dogs, that kind of thing.

But if a friend is careless and thinks, “Oh, Mindy just likes cute videos of animals” and sends me the link of a video of a cat playing inside a bidet or something, I hate it. I hate it so much. There’s such a fine line I just think: it’s not worth it. And nothing is worse to me, than the feeling you have after you watch a bad Youtube video link. I’m just so disgusted in myself and it just suddenly seems like I’m the biggest loser who can waste all the time in the world. Shudders.

So my favorite time waster is designing personalized stationery for myself online and putting it in my shopping cart, and not buying it. The best design-your-own stationery site is minted.com. Personalized stationery is historically a stuffy affair, popularized by plucky Jane Austen heroines writing long letters to their sisters. I think personalized stationery has become a very “female” thing to have, which is too bad. Personalized stationery makes everyone, man or woman, boy or girl, seem confident in what they have to say, and proud of their name. It’s just classy and immediately makes me think this person has their shit together.

And personalized stationery doesn’t have to be all formal and cold. Minted seems to specialize in playful, modern designs and spiffy fonts. When my book came out, I had a lot of people to thank, so I purchased these colorful orange-barber-stripe cards to send people.

And if you choose to spend a little more money, you can get extra baller details like shimmery pearlescent paper (yes please) and a pattern on the back of the card (yes, yes, yes).

There’s many, many options for guys on here, too.

Good for: Great gifts to recent high school graduations, recent bar and bat mitzvah’d kids, and to just seem like an official person.

Things I Bought That I Love: Melinda Maria

I was recently on the Daily Show to promote my book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Because this is a show where the likes of Desmond Tutu and Doris Kearns Goodwin are known to have made an appearances, I wanted to tweak my usual “Vegas Bachelorette Party” look I have so successfully pulled off for many years for my talk show appearances. I wanted to look like me, but a bit more demure and literary.

To that end, I wore a pretty black short sleeved blouse tucked into a pencil skirt, both by Tory Burch. This classy little look allowed me to go more all-out-Mindy in the jewelry department. To achieve the look of “religious Middle Eastern oil mogul’s daughter who penned a book of comedy essays”, I smartly chose to wear all Melinda Maria. Melinda Maria is the twinkliest and prettiest jewelry line that is made for special events, but won’t break your bank. Here’s me in her floating mosaic earrings, and in her chunky, stunning Grecian cocktail ring, all of which I wore on The Daily Show.

I’ve worn Melinda Maria on Craig Ferguson, David Letterman, and to parties, but used to just think of her stuff as for fancy events and party dresses. Not anymore! I discovered the Nailhead MM stacking rings.

They are stacking rings — Amazing concept. Everyone loves rings, but now you can stack them? More is more!— and because they aren’t covered in rhinestones or gems, I find them totally rock and roll but also totally wearable to work.

They’re also super fun to style, sometimes I move them around so the opening is exposed, other times I mismatch them. Also they are incredibly fun to fiddle with, if you’re like me and need your hands to be fidgeting when you’re thinking. I mix two colors together, and the look is totally day to night. At $40 each, they’re a total steal.

Next on my wish list: the Melinda Maria Galaxy pave melted stacking rings.

The diamond bling on these is outrageous. Maybe I’ll give them to myself for Christmas so that I can wear them to Jayz and Beyonce’s New Years Party? Beyonce loves bling, so we’ll definitely have something to talk about.

For: Girls who want to wear red carpet-level bling but more reasonably priced.

Things I Bought That I Love: American Apparel Puff Sleeve Chiffon Top

I once heard that Steve Martin, when he found an item of clothing he liked, he would buy 10 of them so he had them in every one of his houses and could replace it for years. I love that kind of borderline obsessive behavior. Well, to be more accurate I guess I just like most things Steve Martin does— this is what’s hanging on the wall of my house when you walk down the hall.

I have these same inclinations but I have to curb them, because I know that no matter how hard it is to find a pair of awesome, perfectly-cut-for-my-body jeans, that I get bored of things very easily. I’m a sucker for trends and I’ll always want to change things in about 4 months.

Wanting to change your wardrobe frequently means that most of my clothes can’t be expensive. That’s totally fine by me, because I don’t like the pressure of not getting fancy clothes lost, stolen or Tabasco’d. Yeah, Rick Owens is fabulous, but am I really going to go to my job as a COMEDY WRITER IN THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY and wear some haute couture leather leggings and booties? In a perfect world where all the writers on my staff have their same brains but look like Serena and Blair from Gossip Girl, yes. But that’s not my life. Whenever I get too fashion-y, someone on my staff says “Why do you look like a Sister Wife?” or “Oh, are there auditions for the Rhythm Nation video again?”

All this to say, my wardrobe contains my fair share of American Apparel. American Apparel is a daunting and amazing place. It is a place where disinterested teenagers whose nipples you can see through their shirt help you try on lycra bootie shorts while you listen to 80’s Paula Abdul played ironically. Or is it retro, and not irony? I have no f’ing idea. You see?

My big Steve Martin-level volume purchase was of four puff sleeve chiffon tops by American Apparel. Here it is:

I love a good puff sleeve top. With the right amount of a puff, a puff sleeve top can appear both lady-like and child-like, in the very best way, if that makes sense. I bought this in black and can wear it over jeans, or tucked into a skirt of pair of shorts. It is so flattering on the arms and fitted in that American Apparel way. Because it’s chiffon, it can be dressed up or down.

I got it in black to wear with a red Herve Leger skirt and it went together beautifully. I have also worn it over jean shorts. It’s so versatile I find myself wearing one color or another about three times a week. That’s why I have four of them. The very best thing about it is that it doesn’t have an annoying zipper or buttons. You just throw it over your head, jam it into your skirt or shorts, and call it a day. I hate delicate blouses. Who do you think you are? And if you get makeup on it, you can fling it off and wipe it off with water— it dries instantly.

Good for: Girls wanting to look demure in a hurry but are really cheap slobs.

Things I Bought That I Love: Urban Decay Naked Palette

I surprisingly travel very light. This is because there is no hell greater than waiting for luggage at baggage claim. It’s just such a snoozy chafe of a time, like waiting for fingernails to dry at a manicure. I’d rather travel with a backpack full of mini travel-sized Purell and men’s deodorant than check in my full-sized bottles of stuff I actually love. And there’s no way in hell I’m ever siphoning my products into travel-sized containers and labeling them and making sure everything’s packed snug and tight so nothing spills. What am I, addicted to boredom like some OCD goddess? I’m not doing any of that!

So when I travel, I like to have things that can play double-duty. One bra can last a week (Sorry it’s gross but it’s true. Who needs more than a single good bra on a trip less than 7 days?). Socks sometimes get worn inside out. And it goes double for makeup. My eyeliner now gets dabbed on my brows as brow pencil. A tiny blot of Chanel Shanghai Red lipstick serves as a great blush. And I usually only take one eye shadow, and it has to be a palette.

Like everyone on the planet, I think Kim Kardashian looks prettier with no makeup on. Now, of course that’s from when I think she’s not wearing makeup, which was an episode from Season One of Keeping Up With The Kardashians when she was crying because she let out some secret sex photos of Kourtney from high school, or something. She just looked so pretty and normal.

She seems to enjoying wearing makeup, though, so more power to her. I like crazy fortune teller glitter nails, and if anyone told me I looked more demure without them, I’d say, “Sorry dude, it’s not about what you like better, it’s my nails.” So that said, Kim K. kills a smoky eye. It’s usually gold and smoky, which is pretty on everyone.

The reason I love this Naked Palette by Urban Decay is you can make any conceivable attractive eye look in one palette. If you want to look like Kim Kardashian on a trip to Beatrice, you can do that. But you can also look like Katie Couric if you want to. I defy you to find an eye makeup look - short of Gaga - that you can’t do with this palette.

Right now you’re thinking: “Yeah, Mindy, we weren’t raised in a poor orphanage, we know about color palettes.” The difference is: Urban Decay is famous for shimmers, glitters and bold, rich saturated statement colors. While playful, their shadow colors last. For my oily lidded eyes (sorry guys, gross but true), Stila, Chanel, Nars and Urban Decay are the best-staying colors. And now Urban Decay has a palette that— for them— is downright conservative. At $48, you will basically have every color you’d ever need, in rich, high quality, lasting pigment.

This palette was used to create my bright, simple eye for this great Bust Magazine photo (photo by Emily Shur.)

Good For: Female travelers who want lots of makeup options, and not a back-breaking travel experience.

Things I Bought That I Love: You’re Hanging Out With Mindy, A Mix CD by Samantha Ronson

Here’s a small example of why I’m an extremely lucky person. Besides living in America, having parents who put a premium on higher education, having my health and all of those larger, incredible, very macro Mindy Is Lucky factors, I’m also lucky to have great friends.

In honor of my book coming out last Tuesday, my lovely and busy pal Samantha Ronson made a mix CD in honor of the event. Now, I have a lot of busy friends, but very few are as non-stop travelers as Samantha, who in the same week might be DJ’ing an princess’s sweet sixteen in Kuwait and then jets off to DJ a new swanky club in Las Vegas. Her constant stays in hotels is why she has an encyclopedic knowledge of Law & Order. It’s great.

Months ago, I tweeted I wanted to make a mix in honor of my book, thinking “Hell, I’ll just buy 17 songs on iTunes and burn a couple dozen copies and hand them out at book signings to interested tweens.” Samantha immediately offered to mix it for me. A few weeks before my book came out, she’d call me at 1am or so (this is when she’s at the studio, this is normal for music industry people) and ask me for a few songs. I gave her some cools ones and Samantha said, “Come on, these aren’t real. Tell me your dorky ones that you really love.” Busted but relieved, I confessed my dorkier ones.

Samantha’s mix is amazing. It’s perfect for getting ready for a party, for psyching yourself into working out, and just for having on when you’re cooking a microwave Healthy Choice dinner at 10:30 at night when you come home from work starving (this might be only relatable to me). It’s so much fun. Once burned, my friend Marissa Ross and her boyfriend Ben Blascoe designed these hilarious and funny CD covers.

I love that they made them goofy but cute and still in the theme of my book cover. Aren’t the songs the best? I love that Samantha included one of her new songs on there— it’s so great and makes me feel really special. Now, publishing my book lives in two mediums, which is awesome! Later this month we’ll be giving away copies of the CD, which I might be able to get Samantha to sign.

Now when I become a creaky old lady boring my grandkids with stories of my younger days, I can show them my book and give them a CD, which will likely be a charmingly archaic form of storing music.

Good for: People who wanna dance! And who like my book.

Things I Bought That I Love: Pink Sneakers

I love working out, but only if it’s completely on my terms. I can only work out solo. I‘m not one of those cool people who is totally fine with someone asking if they can join me on a run. For me, I’m like: “Why? Why would I want to have you run with me, and bear witness to my slowness and the intense look on my face as I’m thinking of elaborate revenge fantasies to get me through my short three mile jog?”

I do like wearing cute workout clothes. My first season on The Office, when I was 24, I used to walk to the gym and work out happily in my gym clothes from Costco and Target. I love baggy gym clothes-– sorry guys, they sop up sweat! But then on the way back to my apartment complex, two separate tenants asked if I was the cleaning lady who was supposed to show up that day. I thought it was funny. When I retold the story at work for everyone’s enjoyment, my friend BJ told me, kind of sternly: “Mindy, you shouldn’t wear baggy gross workout clothes. You’re on camera now, people might see you.” This is the one time my friend BJ and my grandmother would have given me the exact same advice.

This scared me but was a good criticism, not only for people on camera, but just, because I should always aim to look palatable, right? Ever since then I’ve tried to curate a comfy but somewhat cool gym “look”. Usually it’s a long-sleeve tshirt from a place I like, like Quebrada Bakery (near my parents home in Boston), Flight of The Conchords, or The Strand or something. Pants are usually some kind of fitted and flattering Lululemon or Lucy yoga pants (can’t do capri, because I only have mismatched socks and refuse to spend a moment of my life matching socks).

Sneakers are where I, Mindy Kaling, take the f’ing lead. Pink sneakers, to be exact. Without tooting my own horn too much, I love wearing cool kicks and get compliments on them all the time. Here are my favorites!

The K-Swiss California R. These are pretty badass. And by badass I mean, a little nutty, but in a good way. It’s a strong commitment to pink to wear these. But strong commitment is what has given us such fashion luminaries as Nicki Minaj and Gwen Stefani. I imagine the Tooth Fairy wears these on her nightly deliveries (I mean, she flies, but she’s gotta wear some kind of shoe).

The Puma H Streets are great for stairmaster and elliptical but I don’t use them for running. I once spent almost 40 minutes admiring them in the mirror of the Crunch gym on Sunset. (This is actually pretty tame behavior for this gym, which is the home of a certain creepy 80’s film star who just wanders around hitting on girls.)

A more demure celebration of pink, I love these Lunarglides by Nike. They say: “Hey, I’m may be fashion-interested and girly but I’m here to work out, guy.”

And lastly, the most commited of the pink shoes, these sleek/strange/awesome fuschia Asics Gel Speedstar. For Athena herself.

Good for: Girls and Women who love pink, and love to sweat! Heeeey!!!

Things I Bought That I Love: Gap 1969 Snakeskin Print Legging Jean

The legging jean has ruined life for me. I don’t remember the last time I wore proper jeans. And jeans without stretch? What are those even? Gross.

I, like most Americans, love the Gap. Besides having Christmas ads that single-handedly usher in the season without annoying people (like no other company has ever done), they have the best basics at the best prices.

Isn’t that cozy and Christmas-y looking, but like, urban and cool too? Like a Christmas scene from a 70’s Woody Allen movie. I also love buying a statement piece here, like a pink patent belt or neon green tshirt, or anything trendy, so if I only wear it once (or never) it’s not like I’m out of a ton of money.

And these snakeskin print legging jean are the definition of trendy.

Now, considering that I think leopard print is a new basic, I personally think these aren’t so outrageous. Throw on a black sweater or blazer and some statement earrings and you can probably go to work, and then a party afterwards in these. I also think they’d look great tucked into black boots. Or with a deep red tunic sweater over them.

Guys, come on. They’re $69.50. Try them!

Good for: fun fashion girls and thin gay dudes.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Mindy?

Things I Bought That I Love: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns)

A year and a half ago I started writing a book that comes out today.

I am so terrified, you guys. Not because I don’t think the book is great-– which it really is, I swear-– but because it is the first thing I’ve ever done creatively that is 100% me. There hasn’t been a more complete representation of who I am then this book. So win or lose, it’ll all be on me.

Remember this summer, when that Beyonce documentary, Year of Four, came out?

It’s only twenty minutes or so, and I recommend you watching it. It really resonated with me; Beyonce’s tirelessness, her sense of fun, her passion for making music, her love of fashion, her decisiveness, and especially, her ambition, are all on display. Ambition in women is not rewarded all the time, and in this documentary, it is celebrated. I was writing my book at home in my parents house when it came out and it really inspired me. Not so much in content (I will never be in as many fabulous situations as Beyonce Knowles), but in its spirit. She works her ass off, because she loves her craft, and she loves being a baller.

Even though it was an intense personal journey writing the book (don’t worry-– that was just the process), the material is funny. It’s stories about my childhood, essays, my friends, my phobias, a few romances, Hollywood, how I got where I am now. You’ll really like it, guys. I promise.

Good for: Anyone who has read this far in my blog.